Yesterday sucked. Well, not the entire day. Really only ten hours sucked, from 11:00AM to 9:00PM.
It started off like I always try to begin my morning. Rise, intention, chakra opening, coffee, breakfast, blah, blah, blah.
Then I had a client who I allowed to completely throw me off. In her past, present, future reading, she interrupted as we began the present, asking me to just skip to the outcome. I told her that’s not how my readings work or flow. She continued to ask questions that were outside the scope of my particular style of card reading. She wanted exact dates and answers to very specific questions on her future. I found myself saying, “I can’t do that.”
“I don’t read like that.”
“I don’t do that.”
“Sorry. That’s not how I read.”
I was exhausted and wilted by the time she left. She had put me through the 3rd degree, and I felt as if I hadn’t passed. I wasn’t able to give her the answers she sought. My ego took a huge hit. “Have I done the right thing by following this path (to do spiritual readings for people)?” I began questioning my abilities, 2 decades of study, my decision to leave a good-paying job. I really beat myself up.
The entire time, my voice of reason tried telling me, “It’s her, not you.”
“It’s just one person out of how many others who love and ‘get’ your readings?”
It wasn’t until I picked my daughter up from her job as a barista that it finally kicked in for me. I told her about my day and how I was beginning to question my choice to follow this path. She could tell I was conflicted, and of course I felt the mother guilt of having unloaded on my wiser-than-her-years child.
She looked at me and said, “Mom, not everybody likes my lattes at work, but a lot of people love when I make them. It’s personal taste, and you just have to hope that most of the people you come into contact with will like your style. Not everybody likes the same kind of art, and what you do is a form of creative work.”
Of course, when she put it that way, my voice of reason finally overtook my emotional response, and I was relatively OK after that. Of course, I was also telling the universe, “I need the money. Please give me, show me, that opportunity to make it if this is the right path.”
I was at the grocery store about an hour later and received a call from a client on my business line. I didn’t answer right away because it was technically 15 minutes before my posted close time, and I honestly still felt a bit done from my earlier reading.
I checked my voicemail after I got home, and it happened to be two fantastic clients who really enjoyed my style of tarot reading. It just so happened they had a friend with them, and they asked if I would stay open late to give readings to all three. They would would pay and tip well and even bring a bottle of wine!
The evening was exactly what I needed to recognize I was still on the right path. Those clients were brought to me to reenergize faith in myself and my choice of path. I’m certain the earlier client was placed before me because I needed to understand that I will have my fair share of people who don’t like or “get” my style of reading. I have to do my best to try to ensure they get weeded out by referring everybody to my list of things to do know before a reading. Should they fall through the cracks, I will do my best in the way I know how, and remember that my style won’t always be a perfect with everybody. I won’t allow the expectations of others to color how I view myself. Not everybody will like my latte. Luckily, enough people do, and they will tell their friends.