Ugly People Force Us To Change

For the sake of this article, ugly is NOT defined as the outer appearance of a person. In this post, ugly is used to describe an unpleasant, disagreeable, nasty person. She (or he) could be beautiful on the outside, belying an inner ugliness.

workplacebully I had a tarot session with a friend/client a couple of weeks ago who was having a very difficult time with a person she worked with. My friend has been with her employer for over 10 years. A new co-worker came on board about a year ago, and she is apparently making everybody’s life a living hell at work. As my friend explained this other woman’s actions, I was appalled the employer hadn’t yet stepped in to stop this obvious workplace bully. All I can do is feel sorry for the ugliness coming from the other person.

My client explained this woman would lie, cheat and even steal. She is constantly reminding her co-workers that she is really too wealthy to actually need the job, and everybody else is quite beneath her. At the mental healthcare facility where they work, she is very impatient and even verbally aggressive with both staff and patients. It is obvious to me this ugly woman has some serious personal issues she is wrestling with which affect her ability to be secure with herself, and it translates to her disrespect and poor treatment of others.

My friend was so angry as she gave detailed information of her ugly co-worker’s horrible deeds. She said her workplace has become very unhappy and unsatisfying where it once had been. She kept insisting between clenched teeth, “I won’t let this woman drive me out!”

In her cards, I kept seeing a theme of strength and patience AND change/transition. I explained that sometimes the universe places people and situations in our path which force us to change direction. We don’t tend to change or grow in “the comfort zone”. When we become comfortable, we can be complacent and apathetic, with very little growth from new experiences. Ugly people are placed in our lives to effect change.

Verbal-AbuseMy client explained how she had recently heard from another former co-worker who previously worked with the ugly woman and had also been driven out by her awfulness. He told her that he is incredibly happy in his new position, and he was very glad he made the change though it was difficult at first.

I told my friend she needed to reduce her stress levels over this woman. She needed to change her thought patterns when it came to this other person. Why not look at this ugly co-worker as a blessing, somebody who invokes much-needed transition out of the comfort zone. “Why not use the degree you’ve worked so hard for, and take the leap into another position; one with personal and career growth potential?”

If she continues to put thought energy into the universe about this woman, whether good or bad, the universe will respond by giving her more of this woman. However, if she turned that energy inward, looking toward a new and better position, being the best person she knew how to be, she could change her life in a very positive way. When dealing with this woman, she should try to feel not anger and annoyance but sympathy. The co-worker hasn’t learned respect for others, and her insecurity is very apparent.  At the same time, my friend should relish the opportunity for personal growth and the opportunity for positive change brought about by this ugly person, and be thankful for it.

I know it can be hard to stop thinking negative thoughts about an ugly person when they treat people so awfully, but our bad thoughts toward others do nothing to create a better space for ourselves. Ugly feeds on ugly, so you must return sympathy, love or gratitude to an ugly person. Try feeling appreciation for their agitating presence which forces you to take the next step in your own growth. Trust me. I’ve done this with many people in my life. It’s incredibly hard to stop halt the aggravated thoughts, but it has changed my world for good.

 

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