Connect to Silence… or Don’t be a D*ck… or Gratitude for Lessons Learned

Yesterday, I had a couple of experiences which really helped me to grow as a person. They were rather trivial, but both experiences reminded me of something very important I learned as a child: If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

buddha-dontbeadick

I found this on the internet, so it must be true.

In the first situation, I walked into a bookstore I had never visited before. Actually. I take that back. I had attempted to visit once (on a very hot Phoenix summer day). I had my ice water with me (lidded, etc…). I was told I couldn’t come into the store with it, so I left.  Yesterday I figured that since I was passing by from another errand, I would give it another try. When I walked in, the old Gandalf-like wizard of a man behind the counter greeted me. After exchanging small talk for a minute where he explained their prices were so low because “we stopped trying to make money at this a long time ago”, he said, “I just have to tell you something. Your nail polish doesn’t work.” I was totally taken aback. I normally get compliments from women on my choice of my polish, and except for my significant other, no man ever seems to notice (at least out loud).

I replied with a perplexed tone and expression, “Um? It’s grey/blue polish, and I’m wearing blue cut-offs and a grey t-shirt. It pretty much matches perfectly.”

Dumbledore went on to say that no, it didn’t match, and if I’m going to only get my nails done once every two weeks, I need to plan my wardrobe accordingly. I actually laughed out loud as I said, “It’s obvious you’re not worried about making money.”

Some people just need to be seen and heard.

Earlier in the day, I posted my most popular article yet. I put the link on a Facebook group for Tarot professionals. I’m always nervous when posting my work to my professional peers, so I try to start a conversation with a question about what others have experienced. Yesterday I asked, “What myths have you encountered in our work?”

I received a lot of accolades for the article, but a couple of comments in, there was this:  “Sooo. Um. No offense.. I was not a fan of this article. Was this written from your perspective?”

My reply: “…absolutely no offense taken. Yes, it was written from my perspective. The very first sentence in the article is, ‘These may not be myths for every Tarot reader, but they certainly hold true for me and many other readers I’ve come to know over the years.'”

Again, somebody left me scratching my head. I don’t understand what a person is adding to the conversation, or the connection with another human being, by simply stating negative opinion. I must also point out that anytime a sentence is begun with “No offense”, it’s obvious offense is about to be offered. The professional reader’s response added absolutely nothing of value to the discussion, nothing to help me understand where my article may have taken a wrong turn (with her). It was also quite obvious she hadn’t even read the post; otherwise, her question would have been answered in the very first sentence (and the many to follow).

Some people just need to be seen and heard.

I truly had a wonderful day yesterday! I learned so much about myself, and how I can respond to the negative nature of others without feeling defensive or angry. Because of this important lesson, I am grateful for those two people coming into my life.

Final Summation: Just don’t be a d*ck.

 

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