I don’t mean to sound braggadocious, but I came home from work today to find a dozen red roses and a love note from my significant other (herein known as the SO). It’s not really bragging as much as shock because it’s been over 5 years since I was surprised with flowers.
Note: As I began writing this, “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)” by James Taylor came on the random play music station.
I decided to do something I don’t know normally do these days; conduct a Tarot reading for myself.
I would be lying if I said life was easy as a couple. Almost anybody would be lying if they said they’re relationship was perfect after the first couple of dates. It just seems we’ve been on some crazy wavelengths lately. Every time our vibrations aren’t humming in harmony, and he acts in a manner which is a reminder of me in my previous relationships I think,”Good gods. This is my relationship karma coming back to haunt me.” He is, however, a good man; like a genuine salt-of-the-earth man. He is loyal to a fault. He is also a very reliable, hard-working person who isn’t prone to excessive and annoying tangential thoughts (and thoughts and thoughts and thoughts and thoughts) like I am. He describes himself as a very basic man with few material needs; though his material desire isn’t completely nonexistent. He’s not the Dalai Lama after all!
Note: Happy birthday HH Dalai Lama!
Recently, there has been some back-and-forth about moving into the same home together. We’ve been living the Frida Kahlo/Diego Riviera life in separate studios (sharing a wall) since returning from Hawai’i a few years ago.
After living in a tent on the north side of Big Island, and then in a 1-bedroom cottage in Kona, the SO and I felt a need for separate spaces upon our return to the mainland.
Now, back in Phoenix, two of my adult children have decided to go back to school while also working (thank you Starbucks for a wonderful university program!). As their mother, I want to help them out. I also want a pool again and an outdoor patio area if I’m going to make it through another Phoenix summer. Naturally, after a few good years living separate-but-together, we’re both a bit nervous about moving back in together, and with my kids. He likes them, they like him, but we’re all adults. Everybody really wants their own space.
We love each other very much. Somebody (I almost said a wise person) once told me it was a twin flame thing where we drive each other totally nuts but receive a great deal of growth through the relationship. Honestly, his fire drives me crazy, and my air makes him cross-eyed; however, I feel like we’re so good for each other. He’s gotten me to make my bed every day, do the dishes regularly, save money and generally be much more organized. He’s also forcing me to not be so damn self-centered by making me think about his point of view with his fiery frustration. I’d like to think I’ve gotten him to loosen the hell up a bit, but I don’t think that’s the whole truth because I still find him to be somewhat uptight and rigid (and dammit, I love him for it!).
So I came home to a dozen red roses and a love note today, and I decided to do a reading. Just four cards.
Card 1: Where we began – The Fool. Fools in love! Yep. That’s how it always starts. It was a leap of faith; making the choice to begin a new relationship though his previous (and only) relationship had broken up, and my (several) relationships had the shelf-life of milk. We headed into the unknown, choosing a new adventure, believing, letting go of worry, and living for the moment. It felt good. The Fool is also on the Tree of Life path from Kether (Crown) to Chokmah (Wisdom), corresponding to the Hebrew letter Aleph (א) which means Ox. The ox is incredibly strong and hard-working, ready to do what is needed to get the job done. The Fool has the quality of air about him which fits nicely with his Justice neighbor.
Card 2: Where we are – Justice. Ha! Karma. And Libra (like me). Lady Justice acknowledges the truth, seeks equality and fairness in all things (and hates when she finds herself in the role of hypocrite). She seeks balance, weighing all factors, taking responsibility and acknowledging the truth (when she’s being honest with herself and others). SO and I are both accountable for our situation. Justice is on the Tree of Life path 22, from Geburah (Strength) to Tiphareth (Beauty), corresponding to the Hebrew letter Lamedh (לָ) which means Ox Goad or Harness. Justice is under strict rules, harnessed by the laws imposed within and without the Self. She inherently wants balance and finds that gentle strength can be beautiful.
Card 3: Where we will be – The Hanged Man. Ah yes. Sacrifice. Letting go. Seeing things from a new perspective. I see the Hanged Man as having a reversal, a change of mind, ending the struggle and accepting. He is definitely asking to surrender something (belief, way of thinking etc…) The Hanged Man is on the Tree of Life path 23, from Geburah (Strength) to Hod (Splendor), corresponding to the Hebrew letter Mem (מֵ) which means Water. Sharing the Sephiroth of Geburah with Justice, both cards have the energy of strength. Where Justice is strength working with beauty, The Hanged Man is working toward splendor; something which can certainly be imagined if he only has the strength to let go of something his ego is holding on to so very tightly. Like Bruce Lee said, “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.”
Card 4: Our foundation – 7 of Wands. He is a fiery Leo, though not of this decan. I often see this card as defiance and resistance. It can be that both parties are standing their ground, refusing to yield, each resisting the authority of the other (c’mon, I know you have the pride of Leo and the Sun but I’m a cardinal sign and Lady Justice! I have a sword! And scales which can really hurt if thrown with the proper force). On the Tree of Life, the 7’s are related to the sphere of Netzach (Victory). There can be victory if both the SO and I are courageous enough to let go of things that just aren’t worth fighting for.
Overall impressions: Three Major Arcana fan the top of the reading, and they work quite well with each other. The air of The Fool and Justice allows thoughts to flow freely (though it doesn’t mean they are necessarily shared). The shared Sephiroth of Geburah on the paths for Justice and the Hanged Man indicates a certain strength in balancing this relationship and letting go of vices of the ego to reach beauty and splendor. While air (The Fool and Justice) and water (The Hanged Man) flow freely, they don’t necessarily flow together. They have very different energy and propulsion. At the same time, having an abundance of Major Arcana, versus the single 7 of Wands/Minor Arcana, can indicate something which shouldn’t be ignored and swept under the rug; something bigger, or karmic in nature.
I like that my Libra, and his Leo, are both reflected here, offering further validity to the reading. Justice and the 7 of Wands are the only 2 cards in the reading with astrological influence.
For me, the 7 of Wands with the Hanged Man normally means that being stubborn won’t solve anything. One shouldn’t be afraid to submit; it’s not a reflection of poor character. While we’re both fighting for what we believe to be true and right, if we can just let go, and remember this relationship is a choice for adventure, we will find balance in our differing perspectives. We both just have to do what we know to be right; not just right for the individual, but for the couple. Finally, there is no earth here. We may need to throw in some earthly goods (like sharing a home again) to help balance things out.
But c’mon! He bought me flowers! <3