I went to a concert and drank last night; two things I really don’t do very often anymore. In the past, I would normally stop for fast and greasy late-night eats before going home to sleep. Instead I came home and ate hummus and home-made pita crackers, a handful of raw carrots, ¼ avocado and a slice of cheese. My body thanked me for it. This morning I rid toxins with a yummy organic blueberry flaxseed granola with coconut milk and 2 cups of black coffee, but I don’t always eat this way.
This past weekend one of my kids was going through a painful situation. We did some typical American “sadness eating”; chocolate, pastries, chips, and even (gasp!) soda. These are not things we normally buy and ingest; as a matter of fact, I often vilify the manufacturers and their products (the hypocrisy is going to kill me). We thought they sounded good for a day of grief. Of course we were wrong because later we felt absolutely abominable with bloating, indigestion, gas, lethargy, etc… We knew better, but we did it anyway.
That was the day I was reminded that my recent “lazy eating” the last couple of months has been a reflection of my emotional and spiritual self. It hasn’t been mindful, just lazy. I wasn’t spending time on my food choices, so I was making poor ones. I was eating more processed products than normal, and I wasn’t cooking as often. While indoor summertime cooking is rough on the thermostat in Phoenix, I also wasn’t choosing as many fresh, organic things. I had become lazy and unmindful, and even though I was going to the gym, I noticed my eating habits were becoming poorer and poorer. Not only that, but I haven’t done many card readings (for myself or others), I haven’t been meditating, I haven’t been praying, writing or otherwise following my normal spiritual pursuits. I’ve been feeding a numbness through internet stream binge-watching. It’s easy when you don’t really have to think.
This past weekend was the shot in the arm I needed to remind me just how great I feel when I eat well. I’m one of those people who really likes feeling awesome and vital, and I haven’t in a couple months. My hindsight allows me to see where/when I got lazy. I feel that normal pang of guilt, but then again, I know I can’t think “guilty, guilty, guilty” while trying to fix it. Instead I think, “You know you feel effing fantastic when you’re eating right!”
I know this is an annual solar cycle thing. I just celebrated my personal new year (birthday) a couple of weeks ago. Over the past couple of decades I’ve observed myself, close friends, and loved ones around their birthdays. I notice that many, if not most, experience a “slow down” in the month-to-6 weeks leading up to their birthday. This annual “rough patch” can last for a few weeks after a birthday as our personal engines are realigned with the universe, picking up speed again.
So no. I won’t feel guilty about the mistakes I’ve made in my overall laziness. I just know I need to pay attention today. Here. Now. How am I feeling? Can I feel better? Why not do it right now?