Cutting Out the Sickness

I have been actively praying and connecting with the energy of The Divine Feminine, The Holy Mother, for many months. I’ve been trying to fix my relationships with others in my “blood family”, and my “chosen family” (friends), and even the world at large.

There is one relationship in particular that I’ve struggled with for quite some time. I made mistakes in that relationship, I accepted my mistakes, and I tried to make amends for my mistakes. I truly gave everything I could to ensure the other person knew that I cared, but they were completely unable to see or understand the love behind it. They accepted my apologies, never apologizing in return. Although they should never be expected, apologies really do go a long way in healing, that’s why they’re such an integral part of AA and other mental and emotional healing programs.

I’ve had to come to the realization that, in this particular relationship, the other party’s inability to understand my motives is not on me. I have given with love, with all of the love I knew how offer. The person in question couldn’t (for whatever their reasons) accept that love except to lash out in defense of ego, and I get it. Victims remain victims until they stop using their victimhood as an excuse for ill behavior. Sometimes they grow from it, and sometimes they use it as a crutch throughout their life.

So the Holy Mother stepped in yesterday. She allowed me to clear my throat chakra and state my peace. She allowed the other person to state their peace. And then she allowed me to back away from the relationship and clear my sacral plexus of any guilt or negative emotions I’ve held on to that were associated with the relationship. It wasn’t wholly disrespectful, but there were clear boundaries set in place by both parties. It was made abundantly clear that my trying to maintain the relationship was futile, and at this point, a waste of everyone’s time and energy.

As I was meditating and connecting with The Divine Feminine later, I said “Does this mean I can now release any guilt or anxiety associated with this relationship? Is this severance of the relationship the healing that was needed?”

The answer I received is that sometimes, the best thing for each person in a relationship is to go their separate ways. Only then will healing begin. I was then shown a gangrenous limb (don’t worry, they never show me anything in a scary or gross way). Gangrene is toxic to the entire body unless the affected area is removed. Only upon removal can the healing begin.

Me: “Is this permanent?”

I was also shown a train depot full of tracks, and each of us choosing a different train to travel on.

Holy Mother: “No. It’s ‘permanent’ in the moment. But advances in emotions and ego (just like advances in medical technology) could lead to a reconnection later.”

While everyone would like to think that they can continue on in relationships which drain them psychically, emotionally, or materially, it’s OK to sever the relationship for the sake of healing (and one would hope, for everyone’s healing).

And with that, my sacral chakra released A LOT of toxic energy, and I felt “flow” back to the area. I’ve been praying to get my qi back, so I’ve been doing quite a bit of lower chakra work, especially with the solar plexus and sacral chakras.

My prayers in this area have been answered, or at least my questions have. Now that questions have been answered, and energy centers clearing, I can move forward into the next phase of my life and work. Perfect timing too because a new moon is coming in just a few days! With cleared space in my life, I’m open for something new and amazing! (Maybe my new business because I’m officially an LLC now?!)

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