I’ve been praying for the healing of a particular close relationship for months now. I have had to reach out to the other person a few times for family reasons; however, the other person exhibits mental illness including extreme sociopathic and narcissistic behavior, and they have told me I’m making excuses to reach out to them. In fact I’m not, but I’ve had to reach out for family reasons like, “I need a birthday list for so-and-so” or “so-and-so in our family is sick. Please reach out to them.” It’s obvious the other person can’t see the relational forest for the emotional trees.
Just before I felt compelled to let them know about a sick family member a week or so ago, I had done my own heart and throat chakra meditation (it’s a special guided meditation on my podcast). I know that my relationship with this other person greatly effected my heart chakra and blocked my ability to speak my truth thoughtfully and precisely to them, really clogging up my throat center. But it wasn’t them I was thinking about during the guided meditation. I was purely focused on clearing space in my heart and throat energy centers because I need to make room for more love and expression.
So it was odd when, two days after I did my meditation, I had to reach out to this person who explicitly told me, in no uncertain terms, they never wanted to hear from me again. They said the mere receipt of an email from me, stating in short matter-of-fact terms that a relative was ill, “triggered” them. It was strange. In the past, I might have cried, but as soon as I read those words, I realized I had freed up A LOT of space. And guilt I would have normally felt with this person was released. I actually felt really liberated from the negative emotional ties binding me to this person.
I realized, through further meditation, that healing a relationship can simply mean cutting it out of your life so it can no longer cause harm, like a cancerous tumor. I hope the person I’m referring to in this blog feels the same way because I have a lot of room now for more love, and less anger and guilt, in my life.
Finally, a therapist friend of mine (Kris Godinez) runs a popular YouTube channel where she discusses family and relationship therapy. She’s amazing, so give her a listen if you’re so inclined. I happened across a video of hers within hours of receiving the email telling me I’m a “trigger”. In the video, Kris reminds us that although we may be family, related by blood, it doesn’t mean we have to keep toxic people in our lives. If we wouldn’t choose to be around this person if they AREN’T family, we can choose to not be around them period. Bonded by blood doesn’t mean having to put up with another’s abuses and behaviors.
Interestingly enough, I had been depressed and feeling out of sorts in general over the past couple of months. I’ve been lamenting an extreme tiredness and over lack of energy, really missing my Qi. In fact, I’ve had a significant amount of energy since cutting those ties that bind. I think Mars stationing direct again may have had something to do with it, but I also feel that everything happens at the time it’s supposed to happen and for good reason. Maybe it’s time for you to liberate yourself from bad relationships taking up too much space?